JUNE 13, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Conservative Magazines Diverge from G.O.P. Path. Impact: Conservative magazines not aligning with the G.O.P. led to the birth of an underground movement where they all secretly meet to discuss how to make their content as confusing as possible, just to keep everyone guessing.. Fact: Isn't it ironic that magazines, which were once the pinnacle of intellectual discourse, have now become the equivalent of a high school cafeteria food fight?.
• Headline: Every Day, a Different Ballet Star. Impact: The daily emergence of ballet stars caused a massive increase in tutu manufacturing, leading to a global shortage of fabric for more practical uses, like clothing for actual human beings.. Fact: Did you know that ballet is the only art form where you can both appreciate the grace of the dancers and simultaneously wonder why they don't just wear sweatpants like the rest of us?.
• Headline: Disease of Rich Extends Its Pain to Middle Class. Impact: The return of gout among the middle class led to a renaissance of medieval-themed dinner parties, complete with turkey legs and questionable wine choices, as everyone tried to embrace their inner aristocrat.. Fact: Gout: when your body decides to throw a medieval party in your joints, and the dress code is 'excessive indulgence'..