JUNE 3, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Outsourcing Growth Boosts India's Economy. Impact: As outsourcing booms, it creates a future where Americans are more likely to be talking to someone in India about their tech support issues than their own mother. This leads to a rise in global communication skills but also a significant decline in the number of people who know how to change a lightbulb.. Fact: Did you know that outsourcing was initially met with skepticism? Who would have thought that sending jobs overseas would lead to an influx of international cuisine in American cities?.
• Headline: Mortgage Assistance: Help or Hurdle?. Impact: The elusive help for homeowners leads to a future where DIY home repair becomes an Olympic sport. Every homeowner now has a story about how they fixed their own roof, only to discover that they actually made it worse.. Fact: It's almost as if 'government assistance' was just a fun myth created to keep homeowners entertained. Who needs help when you can just watch a YouTube tutorial?.
• Headline: G.M. Predicts a Turnaround Amidst Challenges. Impact: G.M.'s optimism despite clear signs of doom inspires a generation of entrepreneurs who learn that projecting confidence can sometimes lead to a miraculous turnaround. Spoiler: it usually doesn't, but hey, at least they got some good Instagram posts out of it.. Fact: The only thing more inflated than G.M.'s optimism during bankruptcy is the number of times they’ve filed for it. It’s like their version of a spa day..
• Headline: Detroit’s Woes Wound an Army of Suppliers. Impact: Detroit's auto woes create a domino effect, leading to a future where suppliers start including 'emotional support' in their contracts. Because at this point, who wouldn’t want a therapist on speed dial while managing a supply chain crisis?. Fact: Auto suppliers employ more people than the car companies? It’s like being the understudy in a Broadway show: lots of work, but nobody’s really paying attention until you go on stage..
• Headline: A Tour Guide Tames Lunch in Midtown. Impact: Zach Brooks' quest for decent lunch options leads to a future where food trucks become the cultural icons of urban landscapes. People now have the ability to eat gourmet tacos while standing in line for their morning coffee.. Fact: Midtown Lunch doesn’t just serve food options; it serves as a reminder that sometimes the best things in life are just a few blocks away and definitely not found in a sad desk salad..