JUNE 2, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: UAW's New Role in GM's Ownership. Impact: The UAW becomes a major shareholder, leading to a bizarre reality where union leaders are now corporate overlords. This sets off a chain reaction where labor unions across the globe start demanding shares in companies, ultimately resulting in a world where workers are also stockholders and have meetings filled with awkward PowerPoint presentations.. Fact: Did you know that the UAW once went on strike for more vacation days? Because nothing says 'work-life balance' like a labor dispute over time off!.
• Headline: Obama's Challenge with General Motors. Impact: As the government continues to meddle in GM's business, they inadvertently create a new reality show: 'Government Motors: The Real Corporate Executives of Detroit'. This skyrockets in ratings, leading to a new genre of business reality TV that eventually influences decisions in Fortune 500 companies.. Fact: Fun fact: The government intervening in private businesses is basically the adult version of your parents monitoring your finances but with less emotional support!.
• Headline: Fritz Henderson's Challenge at GM. Impact: Fritz Henderson's brief tenure leads to a whirlwind of corporate strategies that inspire a revolutionary new book titled 'How to Fix Your Business in 90 Days or Less - With Just a Little Bit of Luck'. This book somehow becomes a bestseller, proving that sometimes success is just about being in the right place at the right time.. Fact: Did you know that 'Fritz' is short for 'Fritzing around until the deadline'? He should have trademarked that phrase!.
• Headline: North Korean Leader Is Said to Pick a Son as Heir. Impact: Kim Jong-un's selection as heir sets off a chain of events that ultimately leads to the most unexpected North Korean pop culture phenomenon: K-Pop propaganda. This new musical genre promotes everything from state loyalty to the joys of living in an authoritarian regime and somehow attracts a global fanbase.. Fact: Did you know that Kim Jong-un was once a fan of basketball? He even invited Dennis Rodman for a diplomatic mission, proving that sometimes the weirdest things can happen during international relations!.