MAY 29, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Challenges of Finland's Nuclear Renaissance. Impact: If Finland had cracked the nuclear code, we might have been sipping lattes powered by clean energy instead of worrying about climate change—unless, of course, those reactors decided to throw a meltdown party.. Fact: Finland is still known for its saunas, so maybe they should just stick to those instead of trying to become the nuclear capital of Europe..
• Headline: Microsoft Selects Bing for New Search Service. Impact: If Bing had become a verb, we might have been living in a world where 'to Bing' meant to search meaninglessly for hours, while people still forgot to use it altogether. Thanks, Microsoft!. Fact: Bing is basically the friend who shows up at the party but gets ignored while Google steals the spotlight. Sorry, Bing, better luck next time!.
• Headline: Madoff Claims: A Rigorous Oversight Process. Impact: Irving Picard's role in the Madoff scandal reshaped the way we view financial accountability, maybe leading to a future where Ponzi schemes are less popular than, say, knitting.. Fact: It's said that if you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Well, if you can’t handle the stress of sorting through Madoff’s mess, you might want to consider a career in knitting instead..
• Headline: Still Working, but Making Do With Less. Impact: The economic downturn taught families to budget like they were preparing for a zombie apocalypse, leading to a generation of financial wizards—or just really good coupon clippers.. Fact: Who knew learning to make do with less would turn into a trendy lifestyle? Welcome to the new age of frugality, where thrift stores are the new boutiques!.
• Headline: Credit Relief May Not Last Long. Impact: If credit relief had been the real deal, we might have seen a world where economic booms popped up as frequently as cat videos—oh wait, that’s still happening.. Fact: The credit crisis was like a roller coaster ride that everyone wanted to get off of, yet somehow it became a popular tourist attraction. Thrilling, isn't it?.