MAY 17, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Rachel Alexandra's Historic Preakness Win. Impact: If Rachel Alexandra hadn't won the Preakness, horse racing might have remained a dull, snooze-fest. Instead, her victory inspired a surge of horse-related betting, leading to an underground economy of equine poker games in the 21st century.. Fact: Did you know that if you say 'Preakness' three times in front of a mirror, a horse will appear and judge your fashion choices?.
• Headline: End of Sri Lanka's Tamil Civil War. Impact: The end of the war in Sri Lanka may have created a ripple effect that led to the rise of countless international peace conferences – each with free snacks but no solutions. So, thank you, rebels!. Fact: Did you know the term 'bitter end' originated from sailors who couldn’t get their drinks at the bar during a naval blockade? Just a little side note on human nature!.
• Headline: Old Hickory: The Emo Punk Musical. Impact: Old Hickory's punk rock debut may have inspired a series of bizarre historical musicals, leading to the eventual Broadway sensation 'Hamilton: The Musical: The Sequel: This Time with More Rap.'. Fact: Did you know that Andrew Jackson once had a pet parrot that swore like a sailor? Talk about an emotional support animal!.
• Headline: At Notre Dame, Obama Calls for Civil Tone in Abortion Debate. Impact: Obama calling for a civil tone in the abortion debate might have been the first step towards a future where politicians actually listened to each other – oh wait, that went nowhere. Thanks for trying, though!. Fact: Did you know that 'civil tone' is just a fancy way of saying, 'Let's argue without throwing chairs'?.
• Headline: Whiz Kid in College, Hold That Attitude!. Impact: Walter Kirn’s self-mocking memoir may have planted the seeds for a generation of writers who think they’re hilarious, resulting in an entire genre of books that are basically just glorified diaries.. Fact: Did you know that self-mocking humor is just a way for people to pretend they’re humble while they bask in their own brilliance?.