MAY 7, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: G.M. Eyes Stake in Fiat Partnership. Impact: If G.M. had successfully acquired a stake in Fiat, we might be driving around in a world where every car is both a muscle car and a pizza delivery vehicle. Imagine the chaos of the automotive landscape! Italian-American fusion cuisine meets the Detroit muscle. Who knows, maybe spaghetti would have become a new car accessory.. Fact: Did you know that the merger talks between G.M. and Fiat were so intense, they almost got their own reality TV show? 'Real Housewives of Automobiles' could have been a thing!.
• Headline: Banks' Funding Needs and Taxpayer Impact. Impact: If banks didn't need taxpayer money, they might have actually learned to manage their finances. Who knows, they could have turned into responsible adults instead of reckless teenagers with credit cards. Imagine a world where banks didn’t play Monopoly with our money!. Fact: Fun fact: 'Banks needing funds' is basically the adult version of 'my dog ate my homework.' Spoiler alert: the dog never actually existed..
• Headline: The Manure Chronicles: A Garden's Revival. Impact: The Manure Chronicles could have inspired a new genre of gardening literature, leading to a best-selling series. Perhaps we'd have 'Fifty Shades of Compost' on our shelves today, teaching us all about the dark side of gardening.. Fact: Did you know that the word 'manure' comes from the Latin 'manu operare,' which means 'to work by hand'? So next time you garden, remember: it's a hands-on job, literally!.
• Headline: Branding the Family. Impact: If this couple had branded their family like a product, we might be living in a world where baby names come with a marketing strategy. 'Introducing Baby McBranderson: the next big thing in family marketing!'. Fact: Did you know that branding your family could lead to them having their own social media accounts? #FamilyGoals could have taken on a whole new meaning!.
• Headline: For Small Employers, Shedding Workers and Tears. Impact: The emotional toll of laying off workers might have led small-business managers to create support groups, spawning a new wave of therapy-focused entrepreneurship. 'Layoffs Anonymous' could have changed the corporate landscape forever!. Fact: Fun fact: Laying off workers is often compared to breaking up with someone. Except in this case, the 'it's not you, it's me' line actually has budget cuts behind it..