MAY 1, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exploring Hidden Musical Treasures. Impact: This festival of one-shots and shoulda-beens inadvertently launched a decade-long debate about the merits of obscure music. If only those one-hit wonders had known that their fleeting fame would lead to thousands of late-night karaoke sessions filled with awkward renditions and cringe-worthy memories.. Fact: Fun fact: The average person spends about 78% of their life wondering why that one song from the '90s just won’t leave their head. Thanks, Stomp Festival!.
• Headline: Iranians and Allies Bypass Internet Censorship. Impact: The outsmarting of net censors by Iranians sparked a global trend of digital cat-and-mouse games that led to the creation of a plethora of VPNs. Now, everyone can pretend to be from Sweden while binge-watching shows that are 'not available in their region'. Thanks, Iran!. Fact: Did you know that the internet was originally designed to share cat pictures? Just kidding; it was for military communication. But remember, the internet still feels like a giant litter box sometimes..
• Headline: Goodbye to Naked Shorting. Impact: The end of naked shorting led to a sudden spike in clothing sales for investors. Who knew Wall Street's fashion choices could directly impact local retail? Meanwhile, hedge fund managers began investing in ‘more appropriate’ attire just to avoid the scandal.. Fact: Did you know that naked short selling is not actually about fashion faux pas? It’s more like the equivalent of showing up to class without doing your homework. Woops!.
• Headline: The Lenders Obama Decided to Blame. Impact: Obama's blame game with Chrysler lenders set a precedent for future leaders to point fingers like they were playing a very unfunny game of hot potato. This event indirectly led to a rise in political memes about blaming everyone but yourself. Thanks, politics!. Fact: Did you know that in politics, blaming others is actually a time-honored tradition? It’s like a family dinner where everyone tries to avoid the real issues—awkward!.