APRIL 27, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Martha Stewart's Corporate Resilience. Impact: Martha Stewart's corporate exile inspired a whole generation of DIY enthusiasts, inadvertently leading to a spike in homemade candle disasters and overly ambitious knitting projects. Who knew that a few years of 'creative maypole' antics would result in the rise of 'Pinterest fails'?. Fact: Did you know Martha Stewart could probably build a house from scratch with just a spatula and some glitter? It's true. Her multitasking skills could put octopuses to shame..
• Headline: Doctor Shortage Challenges Healthcare Reforms. Impact: The healthcare lobbying war sparked by this proposal eventually led to a bizarre reality show where doctors competed for Medicare dollars, resulting in a new genre of medical drama that was more 'The Office' than 'Grey's Anatomy'.. Fact: Fun fact: Lobbying is the only profession where you can make a living by just shouting at politicians. Seriously, it’s like a really intense game of Monopoly, but with fewer rules and more money..
• Headline: Atheists Embrace Public Advocacy. Impact: The bold public declaration by atheists set off a global chain reaction, inspiring millions to embrace secularism, while simultaneously causing an increase in awkward Thanksgiving dinners where Uncle Larry just doesn't know how to respond.. Fact: Did you know that 'Atheist' is just a fancy way of saying 'I’m not into the whole invisible friend thing'? Some people find that hard to grasp, especially during family gatherings..
• Headline: Chrysler and Union Agree to Deal Before Federal Deadline. Impact: Chrysler's dance with bankruptcy and unions created a feedback loop of corporate caution, leading to an entire generation of car buyers who became overly attached to their vehicles, dubbing them 'Betsy' and 'Old Reliable'.. Fact: Fun fact: The 'Chapter 11' recovery plan sounds like a thrilling sequel to a movie, but in reality, it’s just corporate jargon for 'We promise we can be good again, please don’t leave us'..
• Headline: Losses in Good-Will Values Compound Bank Troubles. Impact: The ripple effect of good-will write-downs led to a newfound appreciation for honesty in corporate valuations, eventually inspiring a wave of startups that promised to only sell what they could actually deliver. Spoiler alert: they mostly didn't.. Fact: Did you know that 'good-will' in accounting refers to the intangible value of a company? It's kind of like saying your friend is worth a lot because they have a great personality, but then you realize they actually owe you twenty bucks..