MARCH 3, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Future of Fannie and Freddie at Stake. Impact: If only Fannie and Freddie had been given a pet cat instead of government oversight, perhaps the 2008 financial crisis would have been a quaint discussion over feline adoption rates instead.. Fact: Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac aren't just mortgage giants; they also sound like the names of a jazz duo from the '50s!.
• Headline: Harvard Medical Student Ethics Movement. Impact: Had Harvard students succeeded in their quest, we might be living in a world where medical textbooks are sponsored by organic kale growers and yoga studios.. Fact: Harvard's motto is 'Veritas,' which is Latin for 'we're trying to find the truth, but can someone turn down the corporate sponsorships?'.
• Headline: Rescue Plan for A.I.G.'s Transformation. Impact: If A.I.G. had actually slimmed down, we might now have a reality TV show called 'The Real Insurers of New York'.. Fact: A.I.G. once made headlines as one of the largest insurance companies, proving that even giants can have their moment of 'oops.'.
• Headline: The Review Site Yelp Draws Some Outcries of Its Own. Impact: The Yelp debacle led to a world where food critics now consider their reviews as the next form of Shakespearean tragedy. 'To Yelp or not to Yelp?' became the societal question of the decade.. Fact: Yelp reviews are the modern equivalent of shouting your opinion from a soapbox, except now you can do it while sitting on your couch in pajamas..
• Headline: The Case for Saving A.I.G., by A.I.G.. Impact: Had A.I.G. actually crumbled, we might have seen a rise in street magicians claiming to be the next financial wizards, pulling rabbits out of their top hats instead of profits.. Fact: The phrase 'systemic risk' sounds like a fancy term for the universe's way of saying, 'Oops, I did it again!'.