FEBRUARY 21, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Leonard Cohen's Triumphant U.S. Return. Impact: Cohen's return sparked a global renaissance of bearded poets, leading to an explosion of coffeehouse open mic nights, where everyone suddenly thinks they can write a hit song about their cat.. Fact: Leonard Cohen once said that he would rather be a 'mistake' than a 'success.' So, you know, if you're feeling like a failure, just remember: you're in good company!.
• Headline: Oscars: From Sideshow to Spectacle. Impact: After realizing the Oscars are just a glorified popularity contest, Hollywood actors began forming underground leagues to determine the best performances based on who actually remembers their lines.. Fact: The Oscars were originally meant to be a secret affair, but then someone realized that the best way to avoid accountability was to put on a dazzling spectacle. Surprise!.
• Headline: Bellerose: Ice Cream Stand vs. Hotel. Impact: The Frozen Cup's closure led to a chain reaction of neighborhood ice cream wars, resulting in spontaneous ice cream trucks showing up in places that had never seen one, like board meetings and tax offices.. Fact: The term 'ice cream stand' is just a fancy way of saying 'the place where dreams go to melt.'.
• Headline: ‘Buy America’ in Stimulus (but Good Luck With That). Impact: The 'Buy America' clause created a bizarre reality where Americans began buying American flags made in China, sparking a national debate on patriotic imports versus the price of cotton.. Fact: The 'Buy America' clause is like asking a cat to fetch: it sounds good in theory but falls apart in practice..