JANUARY 21, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fiat Partners with Chrysler for Growth. Impact: Fiat's stake in Chrysler set off a chain reaction that led to the creation of a new breed of hybrid vehicles, which ultimately resulted in people arguing about whether they were more eco-friendly than regular cars or just a way for companies to pretend they care about the planet.. Fact: Fiat's partnership with Chrysler was like a middle school relationship—awkward, full of promises, and everyone knew it would probably end in tears..
• Headline: Diverse First Family Celebrates New Leadership. Impact: The expanded image of the first family influenced future political campaigns, leading to a bizarre trend where candidates started showcasing their entire extended families, resulting in an uptick in reality TV show concepts featuring political families.. Fact: Apparently, family size and diversity is now the new political currency. Someone should tell the candidates that having a pet goldfish doesn’t count as a family member..
• Headline: Obama's Response to Banking Crisis. Impact: Obama's inability to fix the banks led to a decade of financial innovation that included everything from cryptocurrencies to the term 'too big to fail' becoming a household name, proving once again that we prefer to gamble with our savings rather than learn from history.. Fact: The banks were so unfixable that even a magic wand wouldn’t have helped. But hey, at least we got a few memes out of it!.
• Headline: The Economy Is Bad, but 1982 Was Worse. Impact: Mentioning that the economy was worse in 1982 made everyone feel nostalgic for bad haircuts and shoulder pads, inadvertently leading to a resurgence of 80s fashion and music in the early 2000s as people collectively decided that life was too short to take seriously.. Fact: It's funny how we still forget that bad economic times can lead to questionable fashion choices. Who knew a recession could also mean a rise in neon leg warmers?.
• Headline: A Long Day Steeped in Pomp, History and Emotion. Impact: Obama's emotional inauguration day became a reference point for future leaders, who now have to figure out how to top the spectacle without turning it into a circus. Spoiler alert: they didn’t.. Fact: There’s a secret club of presidents who cry during their inaugurations. It’s called 'We Realized What We Got Ourselves Into.'.