JANUARY 15, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Terrace Avenue Transforms from Terror to Tranquil. Impact: The clean-up of Terror Avenue inadvertently sparked the rise of artisanal coffee shops. Who knew that cleaning up crime would lead to overpriced lattes and hipster bike culture? Now, the only thing getting mugged is your wallet.. Fact: Residents of Terror Avenue might have been happier if they had just renamed it to 'Not-So-Terror Avenue'..
• Headline: Echoes of Economic Turmoil. Impact: Ahamed's book was like a time travel alert, reminding future generations that ignoring economic history leads to repetitive disasters. Next thing you know, we’ll be skipping back to the Roaring Twenties to party like it’s 1929.. Fact: Did you know that reading about past economic crises is one of the few things less fun than actually living through one? Grab your popcorn..
• Headline: Chávez Opens Venezuela to Oil Bids. Impact: Chávez’s decision to open up oil bidding likely set off a chain reaction that would lead to more international oil disputes. Who knew that allowing the West to bid would lead to everyone trying to outbid each other like it was some twisted version of 'The Price is Right'?. Fact: In a bizarre twist of fate, Chávez’s policies may have inspired future generations of politicians to take up oil wrestling as a new sport..
• Headline: Swindlers Find Growing Market in Foreclosures. Impact: The rise of foreclosure swindlers foreshadowed the emergence of a new breed of reality TV stars: the ‘Home Rescue’ experts who somehow managed to turn misery into ratings gold. They say misery loves company, and apparently, so do TV producers.. Fact: If you thought 'foreclosure rescue companies' sounded like a band, you’re not far off. Their first hit single? 'Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures.'.
• Headline: Buyers for a Citigroup Fire Sale Have Probably Been Singed, Too. Impact: Citigroup’s fire sale was like a clearance rack at a thrift store. It set off a frenzy of bargain-hunting that encouraged future investors to think they could buy their way out of trouble. Spoiler alert: they couldn’t.. Fact: The only thing worse than a Citigroup fire sale? Realizing you bought a 'troublesome asset' that’s now just a really expensive paperweight..