JANUARY 6, 2009

Full News Archive

• Headline: Gas Prices Approach $2 Mark This Spring. Impact: The rise to $2 gas led to a nationwide panic-buying spree for bicycles, which ultimately resulted in a cycling renaissance. Little did they know, this would make hipsters go crazy for vintage bikes in 20 years.. Fact: Did you know that $2 gas was once considered a crisis? Now it’s what we nostalgically call 'the good old days' while we pay for our avocado toast..
• Headline: Guardians of Faith: A Church's Fight. Impact: This quiet rebellion sparked a nationwide movement where parishioners everywhere began guarding everything from churches to coffee shops, resulting in the first 'Guardians of the Latte' group forming.. Fact: Did you know that guarding a church for over 1,500 days qualifies you for an honorary degree in patience? Congratulations, parishioners!.
• Headline: Bow Hunters' Challenge: Pursuing Tule Elk. Impact: The quest for the tule elk record inadvertently led to a reality TV series featuring bow hunters, which got so popular it resulted in a spin-off about competitive knitting.. Fact: Did you know that bow hunting records are officially more popular than actual sports? Sorry, football fans!.
• Headline: Panetta Is Chosen as C.I.A. Chief, in a Surprise Step. Impact: Panetta's unexpected choice as C.I.A. chief led to a series of events where former White House staffers began applying for intelligence roles, eventually resulting in an entire generation of spies who could only make coffee.. Fact: Did you know that being chosen as C.I.A. chief without relevant experience is now a standard practice? Just like getting a job in tech without knowing how to code!.
• Headline: Air Security Could Involve Private Jets. Impact: The introduction of private jets into air security regulations caused a mass exodus of rich people to buy their own islands, leading to a bizarre trend of private jet owners becoming survivalists.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more secure than air travel for the rich is their ability to buy their way out of any situation? They could probably fly to Mars if they wanted!.