DECEMBER 13, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bamboo Blues: A Dreamlike Performance Experience. Impact: The chaotic choreography of 'Bamboo Blues' inspired a generation of artists to interpret dreams as interpretive dance. This led to an unforeseen increase in interpretive dance competitions, which accidentally sparked a global trend of interpretative pie-eating contests. Who knew carbs could be so expressive?. Fact: Did you know that Pina Bausch's work has been described as 'incoherent dreams'? If only someone had thought to wake her up!.
• Headline: I. M. Pei's Vision of Timeless Architecture. Impact: I. M. Pei's designs resulted in a butterfly effect of architectural appreciation, leading to a bizarre competition among architects to design buildings that looked like ancient ruins. We now have a museum that looks suspiciously like a crumbled sandwich. Thanks, I. M. Pei!. Fact: Did you know that Pei's designs are so timeless, they could probably outlast all of humanity? Talk about a long-lasting relationship!.
• Headline: Hugh Jackman Hosts the 81st Oscars. Impact: Hugh Jackman hosting the Oscars led to an explosion of Wolverine-themed tuxedos in Hollywood, causing an entire generation of actors to believe they could pull off sideburns and claws at formal events. This has resulted in a sharp increase in emergency room visits during awards season.. Fact: Did you know that Hugh Jackman's hosting gig was so popular that they considered making it a permanent position? Imagine a world where every award ceremony was just Jackman in various outfits. Glamour overload!.
• Headline: The Green Power Broker. Impact: Majora Carter's rise as an environmental crusader triggered a global movement where people started referring to their backyard compost as 'urban gardening.' This led to a generation of hipsters claiming they were saving the planet while growing kale in their apartments. #SustainableLiving.. Fact: Did you know that Majora Carter's work was so impactful that she could probably convince a cactus to give up its water supply for an environmental cause? Now that's green power!.
• Headline: Be Smart, but Don’t Think That You’re Special. Impact: The advice to 'not think you’re special' in the context of Madoff's scheme led to an entire generation of investors thinking they were special enough to avoid scams. This resulted in a rise in online courses titled 'How to Be Mediocre and Avoid Financial Ruin.'. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'Be smart, but don’t think you’re special' should probably be printed on every investment brochure? It’s the financial equivalent of 'Don't eat the yellow snow.'.