OCTOBER 30, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Early Voting Gains Momentum Nationwide. Impact: This moment of early voting leads to the invention of the 'Vote-a-thon,' where people race to cast their ballots faster than their neighbors, ultimately resulting in a new Olympic sport. Spoiler: it never makes it past the audition phase.. Fact: Did you know that voting early is actually just a fancy way of saying, 'I want to avoid long lines and awkward conversations with my ex on Election Day'?.
• Headline: Rallies Reflect America's Partisan Divide. Impact: The stark contrasts at these rallies inspire a new fashion trend where people start wearing clothes that change colors based on their political mood, leading to a spike in spontaneous dye-related accidents. A colorful disaster, indeed!. Fact: It's said that the true reason for America’s political division is not ideology but the sheer number of people who insist on bringing their own snacks to rallies..
• Headline: A Question for A.I.G.: Where Did the Cash Go?. Impact: This inquiry into A.I.G.'s finances kicks off a global trend of 'Where Did My Money Go?' parties, where people gather to guess how much they lost in bad investments, leading to the rise of reality TV shows where contestants compete to locate lost cash. Spoiler: no one ever wins.. Fact: A.I.G. ran through $123 billion faster than most people can run through their bank account after a weekend in Vegas. Talk about a talent!.