SEPTEMBER 26, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mets' Struggles Ease Yankees' Pain. Impact: If the Mets hadn't flopped, the Yankees might have celebrated their way into a dynasty, creating a world where everyone wears pinstripes and speaks in a New York accent. Thanks, Mets, for saving us from that dystopian future.. Fact: Did you know that the Mets' failures are so consistent, they could be classified as a natural disaster? Just ask any Yankees fan..
• Headline: Shea Stadium's Unique Role for Pilots. Impact: The relationship between pilots and Shea Stadium could have led to a new trend where ballparks become landing pads, causing a surge in 'fly-in' sports fans. Imagine the traffic jams in the skies!. Fact: Fun fact: Pilots have a secret handshake to identify fellow Shea lovers—it's just them pointing at the stadium and laughing..
• Headline: Credit Enters a Lockdown. Impact: Credit entering lockdown could have set off a chain reaction where people started hoarding everything—coffee, toilet paper, you name it. The Great Toilet Paper Famine of 2020 could have started a decade earlier.. Fact: Interestingly, financial institutions hoarding dollars is the modern version of hiding your gold under a mattress—just a bit less comfortable..
• Headline: Warner Sets Example for His Family and the Cardinals. Impact: Kurt Warner’s commitment to family and football might have inspired a reality show where sports stars balance family life with their careers, leading to a whole new genre of reality TV. Spoiler alert: it ends with everyone on the couch eating pizza.. Fact: Did you know that with seven kids, Kurt Warner has effectively created his own football team at home? Who needs a sideline when you have a living room?.