SEPTEMBER 8, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac's Historic Takeover. Impact: When the U.S. economy took a deep sigh, it sent shockwaves through the stock market, which in turn led to a worldwide panic that resulted in an increase in avocado toast prices. Who knew the economy could be so deliciously tragic?. Fact: Did you know that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are not actual people but rather two of the most overworked mortgage companies in history? Kind of like the economy's version of Batman and Robin, except they never save the day..
• Headline: Palestinians Challenge U.S. Terrorism Verdict. Impact: The legal battle over the $192.7 million bond caused a ripple effect that led to a dramatic upswing in crowdfunding platforms, as people realized they could fund just about anything—even legal fees for controversial cases. Who needs justice when you have GoFundMe?. Fact: Did you know that in the world of legal judgments, $192.7 million is basically the equivalent of a Netflix subscription for eternity? Talk about a long-term investment!.
• Headline: Surge in Elevator Violations Identified. Impact: The surge in elevator violations resulted in a new market for elevator repair kits, leading to an unexpected boom in DIY home improvement shows. Suddenly, everyone fancied themselves a handyman—until they realized they couldn't even assemble IKEA furniture.. Fact: Did you know that New York City's elevators are like the city's mood? They can go from a leisurely ascent to a hair-raising drop in seconds flat!.