SEPTEMBER 2, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Elevator Crisis at Kingsborough Extension. Impact: If those elevators hadn't been perpetually broken, maybe the elderly residents would have formed a powerful union, demanding better services. Who knows? They could have become the first senior superhero squad, fighting for justice at a geriatric level. Instead, they just got more exercise—thanks, elevators!. Fact: Did you know that the first elevator was installed in 1852? I guess they didn't think to put a 'Do Not Break' sign on it..
• Headline: Bloomberg's Term Rule Controversy. Impact: Bloomberg's indecisiveness sent a shockwave through the political landscape, inspiring future politicians to embrace the art of flip-flopping. Thus began the era of politicians who could change their mind faster than you can say 'campaign finance reform.'. Fact: Did you know that indecision can lead to anxiety? No wonder politicians are always so stressed—it's a full-time job trying to figure out what they stand for!.
• Headline: Delgado Hits No. 462, and Bullpen Helps Again. Impact: Delgado's homer not only tied him with a baseball legend but also set off a baseball craze that would lead to the invention of the 'home run derby'—a tradition now beloved by fans who prefer watching batting practice over actual games.. Fact: Did you know that home runs used to be so rare that they were celebrated with fireworks? Now, they just get a casual 'meh' from the crowd, unless you're at a home run derby, of course..