AUGUST 21, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Paterson Addresses Criticism in Revealing Interview. Impact: Paterson's sensitivity to attack ads prompted an unexpected surge in motivational posters featuring his face with slogans like 'I am no pushover!' Ironically, these posters became a staple in the offices of every self-help guru, leading to a boom in the self-esteem industry.. Fact: Did you know that sensitivity to criticism is often cited as a top reason for becoming a politician? It’s like a masochist’s paradise!.
• Headline: Inquiry Lays Out Chain of Failures in High-Rise Fire. Impact: The inquiry into the high-rise fire prompted a nationwide initiative to sell demolition permits with a side of coffee, leading to an absurd trend where coffee shops began giving out 'Permit Lattes.' Because nothing says safety like a caffeine high!. Fact: Tragically, the fire at the Deutsche Bank building was a stark reminder that even in the world of construction, a little paperwork can save a lot of lives. Who knew permits could be so life-saving?.
• Headline: Report Rejects Medicare Boast of Paring Fraud. Impact: The revelation that Medicare's fraud reduction claims were misleading led to a series of conspiracy theories that the agency was actually run by a team of overly optimistic squirrels, resulting in a short-lived movement to replace all Medicare officials with actual squirrels.. Fact: It’s shocking to think that Medicare officials might mislead the public. Next thing you know, we’ll find out that politicians sometimes exaggerate their accomplishments too!.