JULY 10, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Mets Closing in on Phillies' Lead. Impact: If the Mets had won the division that year, who knows? They might have gone on a winning spree, inspiring a new generation of baseball fans—who would then be subjected to decades of disappointment. Thanks, Mets!. Fact: Did you know that the Mets have been known as the 'lovable losers'? Because who doesn't love a good underdog story sprinkled with a hint of existential dread?.
• Headline: Koch’s Generous Gift for Theater Renovation. Impact: Koch's generous donation could be seen as a way to secure his legacy. Future generations might say, 'Ah, yes, he saved the theater! But what about healthcare?' A classic case of putting the arts before the people!. Fact: Did you know that $100 million could also fund a small country’s budget for a year? But hey, who needs clean water when you have a shiny new theater?.
• Headline: The Future Knocks Again. Impact: If Disney's Innoventions Dream Home had actually predicted the future, we might all be living in houses that clean themselves and provide snacks on demand. Instead, we still have to deal with laundry. Thanks a lot, Disney. Fact: Did you know that 'Innoventions' is just a fancy way of saying 'We have no idea what the future holds, but here's a cool model to distract you?'.