JULY 4, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Olympic Hopes: Triumphs and Disappointments. Impact: If Dara Torres hadn't been a 41-year-old swimming sensation, the entire field of competitive swimming might have thought retirement was just code for 'binge-watch Netflix'. Who knew a mother could inspire a generation of athletes to keep their dreams alive, while simultaneously making the rest of us feel like we should have accomplished more by age 30?. Fact: Dara Torres is not just a swimmer; she's basically the poster child for 'You can do anything if you just refuse to accept that you're getting older.'.
• Headline: Obama Discusses Iraq Policy Adjustments. Impact: Obama's vague comments on Iraq sparked a national debate that led to countless roundtable discussions, and probably at least one awkward Thanksgiving dinner where Uncle Bob tried to explain the intricacies of foreign policy to everyone. Thanks, Barack!. Fact: Did you know that 'refine' is just a fancy way of saying, 'I have no idea what I'm doing, but let's keep talking about it'?.
• Headline: Explore 25 Stunning Northeast Getaways. Impact: The 25 Northeast getaways inspired many to pack their bags, only to realize they forgot to plan anything and ended up at a diner, discussing the meaning of life over greasy fries. Who knew the real getaway was just a state of mind, albeit a mind still stuck in a traffic jam?. Fact: Maine's crisp beaches are so refreshing that you may forget your existential crisis—at least until you step on a piece of sea glass and remember life goes on..
• Headline: Fighting Inflation, Europeans Raise Rate. Impact: By raising interest rates, the European Central Bank inadvertently encouraged everyone to start hoarding cash under their mattresses, leading to an underground economy of pillow fort banks. Thanks for the financial innovation, ECB!. Fact: Raising interest rates is basically the adult version of 'I'll just take my toys and go home' when kids don't play nice. Who knew finance could be so petty?.