JUNE 3, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Bo Diddley: Pioneer of Rock and Roll. Impact: With Bo Diddley's passing, countless aspiring musicians suddenly felt the weight of their guitars. Inspired by his iconic beats, a new generation mistakenly believed they could replicate rock 'n' roll magic by just slapping a few strings – resulting in the rise of a million terrible garage bands and an equal number of broken dreams.. Fact: Did you know that Bo Diddley once built his own guitar from a cigar box? Talk about DIY! If only he could have built a time machine to ensure his music was never misused by some wannabe rockstars..
• Headline: Behind the Scenes of Dow Chemical's Takeover. Impact: The $50 billion takeover plot at Dow Chemical created a ripple effect that led to every future corporate executive thinking they could secretly plot world domination without anyone noticing. Spoiler alert: they couldn't.. Fact: Did you know that in corporate takeovers, the real winners are always the lawyers? They get paid no matter who wins the game of Monopoly!.
• Headline: Exploring the Beauty Myth in Theatre. Impact: Neil LaBute’s play made waves, inspiring a misguided trend where people thought they could define beauty through theatrical angst. As a result, the beauty industry began to market 'emotional support mascara'—because who wouldn’t want a breakdown while applying eyeliner?. Fact: Did you know that LaBute once said, 'I believe in the power of ugly'? If only he could see how much ugly we've created in the realm of reality TV!.
• Headline: Creating a Don Quixote of the Cheap Motel Circuit. Impact: Lee Child's portrayal of a drifter hero inspired countless readers to embark on their own adventures. Instead, they ended up stranded in cheap motels, wondering why they ever thought it was a good idea to chase after 'adventure' instead of a stable job.. Fact: Did you know that Jack Reacher never pays for a hotel room? That’s right, he just walks in and leaves without a trace. I guess that’s one way to avoid credit card debt!.
• Headline: Documents Said to Be Seized From Crane Owner’s Offices. Impact: The crane collapse investigation led to a paranoia epidemic among construction companies, sparking the rise of corporate espionage where building plans started being protected better than state secrets. A crane collapse? More like a blueprint for disaster!. Fact: Did you know that cranes can lift up to 20 times their weight? If only they could lift the spirits of those who have to deal with the aftermath of poorly executed construction plans!.