MAY 30, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Health Gains Impact Military Readiness. Impact: As health initiatives improved soldier fitness, military budgets shifted towards kale farms and yoga classes, leading to a surplus of yoga mats and a shortage of tanks. Who knew downward dog could destabilize a nation?. Fact: In the military, they say a strong mind and body is key, but apparently, so is a strong supply of kale chips..
• Headline: Rise in Restaurant Grease Thefts Amid Oil Surge. Impact: The sudden spike in grease thefts led to a black market for fryer oil. Consequently, the world saw a rise in 'grease barons,' who controlled the greasy underbelly of the culinary world, making Gordon Ramsay weep in his Michelin-starred kitchens.. Fact: If you think gold is valuable, wait until you see what people will pay for used fry oil. It's like liquid gold but with a side of cholesterol!.
• Headline: David Byrne's Cast-Iron Orchestra Project. Impact: Byrne's architectural solos inspired future musicians to use buildings as instruments, resulting in the Great Symphony of Skyscrapers. This performance, however, caused several urban planners to question if they were really in charge or just part of a giant musical experiment.. Fact: David Byrne once claimed that buildings have feelings. So, when they play music, are they just expressing their deep-seated architectural trauma?.