APRIL 16, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Harlem Rezoning Compromise Achieved. Impact: As Harlem transformed into a business hub, a butterfly flapped its wings, leading to the rapid gentrification of urban areas across the U.S. Now, every hipster with a latte is searching for the next 'up-and-coming' neighborhood, causing rents to skyrocket in places that were once affordable. Thanks, Harlem!. Fact: Did you know that if you squint hard enough, you can still see a small business struggling to stay afloat amidst the wave of corporate chains? Yeah, it’s like watching a tiny fish trying to swim in a shark tank..
• Headline: Cooking Inspiration for Passover Seders. Impact: In a twist of fate, Susie Fishbein’s culinary revelations sparked an entire generation of food influencers. Now, every avocado toast on Instagram can be traced back to her, and the world is still trying to figure out how to make matzo exciting.. Fact: Fun fact: The only thing drier than matzo is the humor of someone trying to convince you that they actually enjoy it. Spoiler alert: They don't..
• Headline: Zooey Deschanel Teams Up with M. Ward. Impact: Zooey Deschanel's venture into music not only launched a million indie bands but also inspired countless awkward karaoke nights. The 'quirky girl with a ukulele' trope was born, and thus, hipsters everywhere found their calling as 'musicians' without any actual talent.. Fact: Did you know that 'She & Him' is not an actual therapy duo? They just play music while you pretend to understand the lyrics and sip overpriced kombucha..
• Headline: Pope, in U.S., Is ‘Ashamed’ of Pedophile Priests. Impact: Pope Benedict's comments created ripples that would eventually lead to increased scrutiny of the Catholic Church, resulting in a wave of public distrust. Now, every time someone mentions faith, you can feel the collective eye-roll of those familiar with the Church's history.. Fact: Did you know that the only thing more scandalous than a bad haircut is a bad priest? And yet, here we are, still debating the difference..