MARCH 22, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Destruction of Cedars in Inwood Hill Park. Impact: The destruction of thirty-five cedars set off a chain reaction where park rangers started wearing capes and declaring themselves the 'Environmental Avengers.' Soon, they were tracking down everything from litterbugs to rogue squirrels with a vendetta, forever altering the landscape of environmental activism.. Fact: Did you know that trees can communicate with each other through underground fungal networks? So, these cedars might have been gossiping about their imminent doom right before it happened. Talk about a betrayal!.
• Headline: First a Tense Talk With Clinton, Then Richardson Backs Obama. Impact: This pivotal moment in the Democratic primaries created a ripple effect where politicians learned that endorsements could be bought with awkward conversations and coffee. This led to the rise of 'endorsement brokers' who charge exorbitant fees for facilitating uncomfortable chats between candidates.. Fact: Did you know that awkward political conversations can lead to groundbreaking policies? Just ask anyone who has ever had to convince their grandparent that their choice of candidate is actually not a space alien!.
• Headline: Between Organist and Keyboard, a Crane. Impact: The crane collapse not only displaced Jane Jarvis but also sparked a movement where musicians everywhere began to demand safer performance conditions. Ironically, this led to a nationwide shortage of cranes for construction, as they were all repurposed as 'musical instruments' in avant-garde orchestras.. Fact: In the world of music, a crane can be a lot more dangerous than you think—especially if it’s not the kind that lays eggs but rather the kind that drops on organists. Who knew construction equipment could be so controversial?.