FEBRUARY 12, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Harvard Considers Open Access Publishing. Impact: Harvard's decision sparked a chain reaction leading to every university publishing everything online, resulting in a world where an 8th grader's cat meme is now considered a scholarly article. Welcome to the future of academia!. Fact: In a twist of irony, the first free paper published was titled 'How to Not Pay for College: A Guide to Internet Fishing.'.
• Headline: Despite Empty Seats at Home, Hornets are Thriving. Impact: The Hornets thriving despite empty seats inspired a generation of sports teams to adopt the motto 'We don’t need fans, we need stats!' This led to the strange phenomenon of celebrating victories with cardboard cutouts and loudspeakers.. Fact: Fun fact: the Hornets' mascot was seen trying to convince empty seats to cheer, but they were just too tired from all the sitting..
• Headline: Who Won the Writers Strike?. Impact: The writers' victory not only changed the industry but also led to a bizarre phenomenon where people started calling themselves 'protest writers', and the next thing you know, every hipster was penning stories about their coffee shop experiences.. Fact: Ironically, the first thing the writers did after the strike was to write a collective letter to the universe requesting more coffee and fewer reality shows!.