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HEADLINES ON February 9, 2008
Full News Archive
- Headline: Obama's Youth: Drugs and Moderation. Impact: Had Obama never admitted to his teenage indiscretions, perhaps we would have never had a generation of politicians perfecting the art of pretending they were always perfect. Thanks, Obama, for the bar set impossibly high!. Fact: Obama's admission led to a sudden spike in 'cool' factor among politicians; they now had to at least pretend to have had a wild youth..
- Headline: Impact of Debt Relief on Consumers. Impact: The headache of debt relief might just be the reason we now have an entire generation that thinks 'budgeting' is a conspiracy theory invented by accountants.. Fact: Debt relief has become so popular that it’s practically a rite of passage into adulthood, right alongside existential crises and avocado toast..
- Headline: Trial for 9/11 Suspects at Guantánamo. Impact: This trial could set a precedent that leads to future military commissions being more scrutinized, but let's be real, the government loves to keep secrets—it’s practically their hobby.. Fact: Guantánamo has become so synonymous with controversy that it’s practically a vacation spot for lawyers specializing in human rights violations..
- Headline: Catholic Vote Is Harbinger of Success for Clinton. Impact: Clinton's success with the Catholic vote may have inadvertently led to future candidates trying to woo voters with rosaries and confessionals, because that's what politics needed—more theatrics.. Fact: The Catholic vote is like that one friend who always backs the winning team; you can count on them, but they’ll never let you forget it..
- Headline: New Dogs, Old Tricks: Four Breeds Will Make Westminster Debut. Impact: These new breeds making their debut could have sparked an underground dog show circuit where only the most eccentric dogs can compete, leading to a new canine aristocracy.. Fact: The addition of these breeds is a clear sign that dog lovers are running out of names and are now resorting to geographic locations and obscure historical references..
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Netflix - If you invested $1,000 in 2008, it would be worth $249,715 today (249.7x return)