FEBRUARY 8, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Cultural Revival in Bronx Education. Impact: This principal's stubbornness led to a renaissance in educational management styles. Years later, schools around the world adopted 'cultural mismatch' as a buzzword, leading to an influx of motivational posters featuring mismatched socks.. Fact: Did you know that the term 'cultural mismatch' was once used to describe my last date? Spoiler: it didn't end well..
• Headline: Congress Approves $168 Billion Stimulus Package. Impact: The $168 billion stimulus created a chain reaction of economic policies that eventually led to the creation of a new board game: 'Bailout Bonanza', where players could pretend to save the economy without any real-life consequences.. Fact: Fun fact: $168 billion is also approximately the amount of money spent on 'urgent' emails that could have been summarized in a single meme..
• Headline: Lawyers: The City's Unsung Heroes. Impact: The lack of a catchy nickname for city lawyers led to a long-standing identity crisis in the legal community, resulting in an entire generation of lawyers entering therapy to cope with their identity issues.. Fact: You know you're in trouble when even the lawyers can't come up with a good nickname. I mean, who doesn't want to be called 'The Legal Eagle'?.
• Headline: Creators of Credit Crisis Revel in Las Vegas. Impact: The revelry in Las Vegas among those responsible for the credit crisis inadvertently set off a trend of financial 'celebrity' events, where brokers would dress as their favorite financial disasters for Halloween.. Fact: Did you know that in Vegas, the house always wins? Just ask the people who thought they could gamble their way out of a credit crisis..
• Headline: Slain Dentist’s Wife Is Charged With Murder and Conspiracy. Impact: This tragic event led to an increase in dental care awareness and safety protocols, ultimately resulting in a nationwide initiative to ensure that dental appointments come with a side of marital counseling.. Fact: Fun fact: In the world of crime, dentists are often the unsung heroes, just not in this particular story..