JANUARY 6, 2008

Full News Archive

• Headline: Brandon Jacobs: The Dual Nature of a Hero. Impact: Had Brandon Jacobs not been a soft-hearted teddy bear at home, he might have turned into a grizzly bear of a dad, which could have led to a nationwide trend of overly aggressive parenting styles. Imagine kids getting tackled for not finishing their vegetables!. Fact: Brandon Jacobs was known for his big personality on and off the field—he even cried during the climax of 'The Notebook.'.
• Headline: Navigating Choices at 16 Years Old. Impact: If the 16-year-old had chosen Georgia, the entire state might have become a haven for lost teenagers, creating an underground network of 'Georgia Runaways' that would rival the underground railroad, minus the historical significance.. Fact: Georgia is known as the Peach State, but I doubt a teenager on the run would care about fruit metaphors..
• Headline: Suspense in the Zodiac Mystery. Impact: If 'Zodiac' had flopped, the world might have missed out on a generation of amateur detectives suddenly convinced they could solve crimes from their couches, leading to a rise in conspiracy theories that would put the moon landing hoax to shame.. Fact: 'Zodiac' is based on a real-life serial killer, proving that Hollywood will always find a way to profit from our morbid curiosity..
• Headline: Curator? No, the Deli Man.. Impact: If Grouchy Gabe's Grill hadn't merged deli and art, we might have never seen the rise of other bizarre combinations, like 'Sushi and Philosophy' cafes, where you ponder existence while nibbling on raw fish.. Fact: Nothing says avant-garde like a deli sandwich that costs the same as a small car. Welcome to hipster dining!.
• Headline: Private Cash Sets Agenda for Urban Infrastructure. Impact: The rise of private cash in urban infrastructure could lead to a dystopian future where only the wealthy get access to the best roads, leaving the rest of us with potholes the size of small swimming pools.. Fact: Public investment is about as fashionable as last year's iPhone, yet here we are, still trying to keep up with the rich folks' whims!.