DECEMBER 4, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Miller's Exclusion from Hall of Fame. Impact: The omission of Miller set off a chain reaction that led to a series of increasingly ridiculous Hall of Fame snubs, eventually resulting in a reality TV show where players compete for ‘Most Likely to be Ignored’ award. Spoiler: it's always the same guy.. Fact: Did you know that the Hall of Fame considers not electing someone as a form of modern art? Because nothing says ‘we respect your contributions’ quite like a snub..
• Headline: Democrats' Future Linked to Clinton's Nomination. Impact: Democrats tying their fate to Clinton was like a group of people betting their lives on a single roll of the dice at a casino run by a cat. It didn't end well, but hey, at least they had fun watching it all unfold.. Fact: Fun fact: The last time a political party was this confident about their nominee, they ended up with a guy who thought Twitter was a form of diplomacy..
• Headline: Creators of Television: A Transformative Journey. Impact: Sorkin's biodrama sparked a new genre of 'educational' films, leading to a future where history classes are taught exclusively through dramatized tales of tech moguls and their questionable life choices. Because who needs facts when you have dramatic flair?. Fact: Did you know that Aaron Sorkin once tried to dramatize a grocery list? It was a riveting tale of suspense and choice between apples and oranges..
• Headline: A Lurid Aftermath to a Hedge Fund Manager’s Life. Impact: Tobias's estate drama launched a new trend where hedge fund managers began writing their wills like reality TV scripts, complete with cliffhangers and dramatic reveals every quarter. Who needs stability when you can have drama?. Fact: Did you know hedge fund managers are now considered the Kardashians of finance? They make money, lose money, and love to keep the public guessing what will happen next..