NOVEMBER 24, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Navigating Medicare's Prescription Coverage Gap. Impact: Medicare's big hole became a black hole for pharmaceutical companies, who then had to scramble to create more generics, leading to a bizarre trend of patients becoming amateur chemists in their basements.. Fact: The only thing bigger than Medicare's gap is the gap between what politicians promise and what they actually deliver. Surprise!.
• Headline: Bomb at a Market Shatters Lull for Baghdad. Impact: This tragic event sent shockwaves through Baghdad, causing a brief spike in global anxiety levels, and oddly enough, led to the creation of a new neighborhood watch program that included some serious 'stay indoors' advice.. Fact: The irony of a market being 'safe' just days before a bomb is a reminder that safety is often just an illusion, often marketed with a '100% satisfaction guarantee'..
• Headline: Bargains Draw Crowds, but the Thrill Is Gone. Impact: As shoppers flocked to bargain chains, retail giants began to experience 'emotional distress', leading to a series of sad advertisements focusing on their plight as 'discounted retail warriors'.. Fact: Nothing says 'thrill' like saving a few bucks at the expense of a once-glamorous shopping experience—it's like taking the fun out of a rollercoaster!.