OCTOBER 22, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Red Sox Advance to World Series Again. Impact: If the Red Sox hadn't made this comeback, we might have seen a world where baseball was replaced by competitive knitting. Thank goodness for Pedroia's five runs! The future of sports was at stake.. Fact: Did you know the Red Sox were once cursed? Yeah, they traded Babe Ruth to the Yankees and then didn't win for 86 years. So, if they can come back from that, what can't they overcome?.
• Headline: Developing Nations Critique Wealthy Countries. Impact: This moment marked the dawn of the ‘Rich Kids' Crying Hour,’ where wealthy nations had to sit through lectures on the importance of fiscal responsibility from nations that are literally just trying to make it through the week.. Fact: Did you know that the U.S. has a history of ignoring advice? It’s like getting relationship advice from a squirrel—entertaining, but ultimately, you’re just gonna end up with a nut..
• Headline: Heroic Honor for Lt. Michael P. Murphy. Impact: Lt. Michael P. Murphy’s legacy not only honored bravery but also inadvertently inspired a whole generation to think that heroism should come with a superhero cape—those poor capes. They never stood a chance.. Fact: Murphy was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor, which is a big deal. You know, unlike that time you got a participation trophy for attending a birthday party..
• Headline: Her Identity Revealed, Her Story Expurgated. Impact: Valerie Plame's story revealed the complexities of espionage, prompting future spies to consider ditching the ‘cloak-and-dagger’ for ‘cloak-and-blog’—because who doesn’t love a good social media reveal?. Fact: Plame was outed in a political scandal that had more twists than a soap opera. Who knew the world of espionage could be so...dramatic?.
• Headline: After Strong Start, Jets Fall into Old Habits. Impact: This moment solidified the Jets' reputation as the team that could start strong but ultimately leads fans to despair. It’s like they’re the sports equivalent of a soap opera: full of hope, followed by existential dread.. Fact: The Jets have mastered the art of disappointment. They could teach a masterclass on how to build hope and then crush it—no degrees required!.