SEPTEMBER 1, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Young Fliers and In-Flight Movie Content. Impact: The decision to allow children to watch whatever they want on flights led to a future where kids demand popcorn and R-rated movies on every family trip, ultimately resulting in the rise of the in-flight 'Parental Control' app that became the most downloaded app of 2035.. Fact: Because nothing screams 'family vacation' like watching a slasher flick at 30,000 feet!.
• Headline: Lessons from the Deutsche Bank Disaster. Impact: The mishap at the Deutsche Bank building sparked a global safety revolution, leading to the invention of the 'safety bubble' – a literal bubble you wear to avoid hazards, which ironically became the top fashion trend in 2025.. Fact: Who knew that a little dust cleanup could lead to a future where people are walking around in inflatable suits?.
• Headline: Mets Break Losing Streak with Key Win. Impact: The Mets' victory turned the tide of their entire season, which inspired a generation of underdogs in sports. This eventually led to the creation of the League of Unlikely Champions, where only the teams with the worst records are allowed to compete. It was a glorious mess.. Fact: The Mets' five-game losing streak was a reminder that even professional athletes can have their own version of a bad hair day..
• Headline: Bush Plans a Limited Intervention on Mortgages. Impact: Bush's mortgage intervention led to the creation of the 'Mortgage Survival Guide' series, which became such a bestseller that it inadvertently caused a spike in people becoming amateur financial advisors, resulting in a nationwide epidemic of unsolicited financial advice.. Fact: In the future, people will reminisce about the early 2000s as the golden age of 'advice' from that one uncle who still thinks he understands the stock market..
• Headline: Chief Says Fed Is Ready to Act on Credit Pinch. Impact: Bernanke's readiness to act on the credit pinch initiated a chain reaction of central banks around the world adopting the 'Ready, Aim, Fire' approach to monetary policy, leading to a world where economists are treated like superheroes during economic crises.. Fact: In 2030, an entire superhero franchise was created, featuring an economist who saves the world with his knowledge of interest rates and inflation. Spoiler: it was a flop..