AUGUST 31, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: I.B.M. Abolishes Vacation Tracking System. Impact: I.B.M.'s decision to ignore vacation tracking led to a workplace revolution where employees learned to master the art of the 'stealth vacation,' changing corporate culture forever. Now we have a generation of professionals who know how to fake a sick day like it's an Olympic event.. Fact: Did you know that 'vacation' is just a fancy word for 'time spent not responding to emails'? Just a thought!.
• Headline: NBC Will Not Renew ITunes Contract. Impact: NBC's decision to not renew the iTunes contract sparked a media frenzy that eventually led to streaming wars, which in turn resulted in an endless cycle of subscription fatigue for consumers. Thanks, corporate giants, for making us pay for our nostalgia!. Fact: Did you know that 'escalating tensions' between media companies is just corporate speak for 'we're fighting over your wallet'?.
• Headline: Water Parks Gone Wild in Vermont. Impact: The 'gone wild' water park phenomenon in Vermont inspired a generation of thrill-seekers to embrace nature, resulting in an influx of DIY water slides that subsequently caused more injuries than a reality show competition. Nature: 1, Humans: 0.. Fact: Did you know that water parks are essentially adult playgrounds where the only requirement is to scream while you slide? Sounds like a great way to relive childhood trauma!.