JUNE 30, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Revitalizing Old Drugs for New Benefits. Impact: Imagine a world where old drugs were just left to gather dust while new ones were invented! This shift led to a secret society of pharmacy majors who only deal in vintage prescriptions, sparking a whole new underground market for 'classic' medications.. Fact: Did you know that some of those 'old' drugs are just as effective as the new ones? It's like trading in a classic car for a brand new model that breaks down more often..
• Headline: Supreme Court Reviews Detainee Rights. Impact: This case set off a chain reaction that led to the creation of a new superhero: 'The Constitutional Avenger,' who fights for justice while wearing a judge's robe and wielding a gavel. His catchphrase? 'Objection!'. Fact: Did you know that the Supreme Court's decisions have the power to shape reality? One wrong ruling, and you might find yourself arguing with your toaster about your right to toast bread..
• Headline: Manhattanites Face Driving Fee on the Way Out. Impact: This little fee might have been the catalyst for a movement where Manhattanites start using bicycles and scooters, leading to a renaissance of hipster culture. Soon enough, you'd be tripping over artisanal coffee shops everywhere you go.. Fact: Did you know that congestion pricing is just another way of saying 'we're going to charge you for living in the coolest part of the city'? Welcome to New York, where the price of convenience is your dignity..
• Headline: N.F.L. Pulls the Plug on Its League in Europe. Impact: The NFL's European venture flopped so spectacularly that it inspired a reality TV show called 'NFL: The European Disaster,' where former players try to teach soccer fans how to tackle without getting a yellow card.. Fact: Did you know that the NFL once thought it could conquer Europe with football? They clearly underestimated the power of tea time and the fact that the rest of the world calls it ‘American football’ like it’s a dirty secret..