JUNE 26, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Life on the Edge of Wilderness. Impact: As more Americans experimented with living on the fringes, a trend of 'Fire-Safety Minimalism' emerged, leading to the invention of the fireproof marshmallow. Now, campfires are dangerously delicious.. Fact: Did you know that the leading cause of forest fires is… people? Who knew humans could be so hot-headed?.
• Headline: Whitman Defends E.P.A. Post 9/11. Impact: Whitman's defense sparked a nationwide trend of blaming 'misinformation' on the internet, eventually leading to the rise of conspiracy theories about the moon landing being staged in a basement.. Fact: Fun fact: the E.P.A. was initially founded to protect the environment, but somehow it morphed into the agency that protects politicians from public scrutiny..
• Headline: Murder Charges and Hate Crime Debate. Impact: This case marked the beginning of a legal precedent where thoughts could be judged, eventually leading to a dystopian future where people are arrested for simply thinking about pineapple on pizza.. Fact: Did you know that in some places, hate crimes can also include excessive eye-rolling? No, seriously. Just wait for the trial..
• Headline: ‘Open Sesame’ Just Won’t Do: Hoboken Tries to Unlock Its Cave. Impact: The rediscovery of Sybil's Cave led to a renewed interest in 19th-century literature, sparking a short-lived trend of hipster cave-dwelling. Unfortunately, the Wi-Fi signal was terrible.. Fact: Did you know that Edgar Allan Poe was a huge fan of caves? Or maybe he just wanted a place to hide from the judgment of society? Either way, he set the standard for dramatic exits..
• Headline: Peace Talks Simple Compared With Steroids. Impact: This headline inadvertently encouraged a new sport: 'Baseball Diplomacy,' where players negotiate peace treaties between innings. Spoiler alert: it's mostly just arguing over strike zones.. Fact: Here’s a fun one: Jason Giambi's honesty was so rare in baseball that it was labeled a 'national treasure,' only slightly less valuable than the actual National Treasure..