MAY 27, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Elite Colleges Embrace Economic Diversity. Impact: When elite colleges finally decided to let low-income youths in, it set off a chain reaction: suddenly everyone realized that knowledge should be accessible, which led to the downfall of the 'money can buy education' myth. Who knew the rich would actually have to compete with the well-rounded instead of just their trust funds?. Fact: Did you know that prior to this, elite colleges were basically just country clubs for the wealthy? Now they might actually have to read their students' essays instead of just their bank statements!.
• Headline: Debate on U.S. Troop Withdrawal from Iraq. Impact: The U.S. troop withdrawal from Iraq had such a ripple effect that it ultimately led to an entire new genre of conspiracy theories, all revolving around the idea that the experts were just guessing. Who knew guessing could be so lucrative?. Fact: Did you know that experts often have the same level of accuracy as a weather forecast? So when they split opinions, just flip a coin—it might be more reliable!.
• Headline: Victim of Climate Change, a Town Seeks a Lifeline. Impact: As the permafrost melted, it not only displaced communities but also made future generations question if they should invest in ice-themed amusement parks. Spoiler: they probably won’t be a hit anymore!. Fact: Did you know that permafrost is like Mother Nature's freezer? Too bad she's decided to turn it off just when we were planning a nice ice cream party!.
• Headline: Newark Battles Murder and Its Accomplice, Silence. Impact: The struggle against murder and silence in Newark ignited a nationwide movement for more open communication, transforming town meetings into events where people actually talked instead of just nodding awkwardly. Thanks, Newark!. Fact: Did you know that in some places, silence is considered golden? In Newark, it’s more like a rusty penny—totally useless in the fight against crime!.