MAY 25, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Fresh Produce Access for Urban Communities. Impact: This fresh produce service will eventually lead to a tomato uprising in urban neighborhoods, with veggies demanding equal rights and a seat at the table. By 2040, the phrase 'let's grab a salad' might be considered revolutionary.. Fact: In a bizarre twist of fate, urban tomatoes have been known to have better political awareness than some elected officials. Who knew they were so well-informed?.
• Headline: Moktada al-Sadr Returns to Iraq. Impact: Moktada al-Sadr’s return could lead to a series of unexpected events, including a rise in competitive beard-growing contests in Iraq, fundamentally changing the grooming industry forever.. Fact: Al-Sadr’s sojourn in Iran might have been a secret vacation. I hear the spas are to die for, but apparently, he missed out on the ‘Namaste’ part of the trip..
• Headline: Three Women With One Goal at Indy. Impact: This event at Indy could spark a chain reaction where women are suddenly allowed to drive everywhere, leading to a future where 'backseat driving' is a recognized sport. The automotive industry would never be the same.. Fact: The Indianapolis 500 has officially entered the 21st century. Next up, we’ll see flying cars and pit crews consisting entirely of cats. Just you wait..
• Headline: For New York, Big Job Growth in Home Care. Impact: The surge in low-paying jobs in home care might lead to a future where the economy is run entirely by overworked caregivers who can’t afford to take a day off. Welcome to the dystopian future where self-care is a luxury!. Fact: In New York, the term 'home care' has become a euphemism. It sounds better than saying, 'I’m working three jobs just to afford my avocado toast!'.