MAY 5, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Conservatives Divide Over Darwinian Theory. Impact: The debate over Darwinism among conservatives sparked a philosophical conundrum that led to the emergence of a new brand of 'science-friendly' conservatism, influencing policy decisions and educational curriculums for decades. Because nothing says 'I love science' like a tax break. Fact: Fun fact: Darwin once said, 'I didn't mean for this to turn into a political debate.' Too bad he wasn't around for the comment sections of social media.
• Headline: New York Schools Propose Higher Tax Initiatives. Impact: This tax hike plan created a snowball effect, leading to a series of school funding crises that would later inspire the musical 'Annie: The Taxpayer's Revenge.' Spoiler alert: it's a tragedy. Fact: Did you know that in the 90s, some schools actually tried to fundraise by selling 'I Love Taxes' t-shirts? They didn't sell well, shockingly.
• Headline: Paper Jam at FedEx Kinko’s. Impact: Kinko's transition to FedEx was the beginning of the end for quirky, independently-owned copy shops, paving the way for a corporate takeover of casual printing. Soon, we’ll have corporate coffee shops that charge you for breathing. Fact: Did you know that the original Kinko's was named after the founder's love for kinks in paper? Just kidding—there was no such thing. But wouldn't that be a fun origin story?.
• Headline: In French Bid, Immigrant’s Son Battles Reputation as Anti-Immigrant. Impact: Sarkozy's battle against his own reputation catalyzed a series of political maneuvers that would forever intertwine immigration policy with national identity debates in France. Who knew a son of an immigrant could stir such a pot?. Fact: Fun fact: Sarkozy's campaign slogan was 'Change is coming!' which he later regretted as it made him sound like a cheap knock-off of a superhero.