APRIL 11, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Learn About Wine at Home. Impact: If everyone took Eric Asimov's advice seriously, we might have a future where wine connoisseurs are the majority, leading to a global decline in productivity. Soon, the world will be run by sommeliers who can’t agree on a vintage.. Fact: Did you know that some vineyards have their own 'wine dogs' that help with pest control? Because why not have a furry friend help you sip in style?.
• Headline: Rodriguez Homers Again: A Game to Remember. Impact: Rodriguez's homers sparked a new trend where athletes are required to hit home runs while simultaneously promoting their own reality shows. The future of sports? More drama, fewer actual games.. Fact: Fun fact: A-Rod once tried to patent a move called the 'homerun shuffle' which, surprisingly, didn’t catch on. Who would’ve thought?.
• Headline: Women in Sports: A Fight Against Misogyny. Impact: This headline may have inadvertently launched a thousand self-help books, each claiming to be the ultimate guide to overcoming sexism with witty comebacks. Spoiler alert: they all involve wine.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'sticks and stones may break my bones' was originally followed by 'but words can ruin entire careers'?.
• Headline: Can Trump Casinos Keep Up With the Neighbors?. Impact: If Trump casinos had actually reinvented themselves successfully, we might be living in a world where themed casinos could cure debt crises. Instead, they just kept doubling down on bad ideas.. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'the house always wins' was actually coined in a Trump casino? And by 'house,' they meant all the lawyers..
• Headline: Bidders Are Lining Up for a Chance to Own the Cubs. Impact: The desperate bidding for the Cubs led to a chain reaction where every team owner suddenly thought they could be the next 'Cubs savior,' thus inflating prices for all sports franchises and putting them out of reach for regular fans forever.. Fact: Did you know that the Cubs’ 99-year World Series drought was so long that it was almost considered an official historical landmark? They should have just charged admission..