APRIL 2, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Warner Advance Against Digital Piracy. Impact: Warner's digital crusade against piracy inadvertently led to a rise in underground 'pirate' culture, where people started bootlegging everything from movies to artisanal bread recipes. Ah yes, the real treasure was the gluten we consumed along the way.. Fact: Fun fact: The term 'digital watchdog' is just a fancy way of saying 'that annoying friend who always reminds you to pay for your Netflix subscription.'.
• Headline: Breakthrough in Child Health Care Insurance. Impact: This budget expansion was the catalyst for future debates on health care, leading to the now-standard practice of politicians using children’s health as a bargaining chip. Because nothing says 'compassion' like negotiating over sick kids.. Fact: In a surprising twist, this budget proposal was actually penned by a seven-year-old who just wanted a dentist that accepted candy as payment..
• Headline: Ohio State vs. Florida, a New Rivalry. Impact: The rivalry between Ohio State and Florida would eventually lead to a series of overly dramatic fan fights, culminating in a bizarre reality show titled 'College Football: The Real World.' Spoiler alert: it was more about the fans than the game.. Fact: Did you know that the intensity of their rivalry has led to a 300% increase in the production of T-shirts that say 'I hate your team!'? Fashion really knows how to capitalize on animosity..
• Headline: Pushing a New Writer Upstream. Impact: Pushing writers upstream was the start of a publishing trend that would eventually lead to the emergence of self-published authors who think their cat's diary is the next great American novel. Spoiler alert: it usually isn't.. Fact: Publishers realized that pre-publication tours were just an expensive way to find out how many people would rather scroll through their phones than listen to an author read about their 'profound' experiences..