APRIL 1, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: New Auto Show Highlights DIY Designs. Impact: If only the Auto Show had featured hovercrafts instead, we might have avoided all those pesky traffic jams. Just imagine a world where everyone floated around like it's 2099. But nope, we're still stuck in our cars, waiting for the latest drive-it-yourself designs to save us from ourselves.. Fact: Did you know that the average New Yorker spends around 60 hours a year stuck in traffic? That's approximately the same amount of time it takes to watch every episode of a mediocre sitcom. Priorities!.
• Headline: Discover Milan's Culinary Heritage. Impact: Milan's culinary adventure sparked a global obsession with Italian cuisine, leading to approximately 3.5 billion variations of pasta dishes and an equal number of arguments about which sauce is superior. Spoiler: It's always going to be the one your Nonna made.. Fact: Did you know that Milan is the fashion capital of the world? So while you're busy eating your risotto, just remember: you and your outfit may not be as chic as the city around you..
• Headline: Ex-Aide Discontent with Bush Leadership. Impact: This ex-aide’s disillusionment with Bush may have set off a chain reaction of political skepticism, leading to the rise of countless conspiracy theories and a generation that believes everything is a lie. Thanks for that, buddy!. Fact: Did you know that losing faith in a politician is almost as common as losing your keys? At least one of them ends up in an unexpected place..
• Headline: 25 Years After War, Wealth Changes Falklands. Impact: The newfound wealth in the Falklands drew in outsiders, creating a peculiar mix of British culture and vacationing millionaires. Imagine a reality show about penguins and tourists fighting over the best selfie spots – that's the future we were heading towards.. Fact: Did you know the Falkland Islands are home to more sheep than people? So, statistically speaking, your chances of running into a sheep are higher than running into a local. Baa-rilliant!.
• Headline: Timing Is Perfect for Oden and Buckeyes. Impact: Oden’s success at Ohio State not only impacted college basketball but also led to a perpetual debate over whether he should have been the first overall pick in the NBA draft. Spoiler alert: he wasn’t, and we’re still hearing about it.. Fact: Did you know that Ohio State fans are so dedicated they would probably attend an empty stadium just to hear the echoes of their cheers? 'Go Buckeyes!' sounds just as good in an empty field, right?.