MARCH 2, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Concerns Over Chinese Paper Imports. Impact: The U.S. paper mills' whine about Chinese imports sparked a chain reaction that led to the world realizing that cutting costs for 'cheap' products would ultimately result in a love affair with overpriced artisanal toilet paper. Thanks, tariffs!. Fact: Did you know that tariffs are just the adult version of 'I won't share my toys'?.
• Headline: Exploring New York by Pedicab. Impact: The rise of pedicabs in urban settings led to an unexpected surge in hipsterism, where suddenly everyone believed they needed to wear fedoras and drink artisanal kombucha while riding around like royalty.. Fact: Did you know? Pedicabs were originally designed for those who think walking is just too mainstream..
• Headline: The Cold Show: Alaskan Auroras. Impact: The breathtaking views of the aurora borealis led to a spike in Instagram filters mimicking the natural phenomenon, causing future generations to confuse nature's beauty with their over-edited selfies.. Fact: Did you know that the aurora borealis is just nature's way of showing off? Talk about a glow-up!.
• Headline: End Our Pain: Hold Primary Right Now. Impact: The frantic move to early primaries sparked a national obsession with voting like it's a reality show, transforming politics into a bizarre competition for likes and retweets instead of issues.. Fact: Did you know? The first Tuesday in February is actually when the universe decided to make democracy feel like a game of musical chairs..