FEBRUARY 10, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Exxon Mobil's Image Challenge. Impact: If only Exxon had just been more open about their love for fossil fuels, maybe the world would have embraced them like a warm, pollution-filled hug. Instead, we've got climate change and activist memes about them. Who knew being loved would be so complicated?. Fact: Exxon Mobil was actually founded in 1870. So, they've had over a century of practice on how to NOT be loved.
• Headline: U.S. Automakers Embrace Foreign Car Designs. Impact: This headline marks the moment when U.S. automakers realized that cars could be more than just metal boxes on wheels. Little did they know, this would set off a global obsession with 'importing' everything from sushi to tech gadgets, leading to an era where every American thinks they can make sushi in their kitchen. Fact: The phrase 'vehicles crossing the pond' might make you think of boats, but in the future, it just leads to a lot of confused tourists driving on the wrong side of the road.
• Headline: Collazo vs. Mosley Title Fight Preview. Impact: Collazo's title fight could be the butterfly flapping its wings that leads to a resurgence of boxing popularity. Or, you know, just another excuse for people to bet on something and then argue about it at the bar for the next decade. Fact: Luis Collazo once fought a guy named 'Shane Mosley.' If you think that sounds like a buddy cop movie, you're not alone. Hollywood is always looking for ideas.
• Headline: U.N. Troops Fight Haiti Gangs One Street at a Time. Impact: U.N. troops battling gangs in Haiti might just be the start of a new reality show: 'Survivor: Gangland Edition.' Who knew international diplomacy could be so entertaining? But hey, it could inspire a whole new genre of action movies!. Fact: Haiti has a rich history, but unfortunately, it’s also known for having some of the most challenging security situations. Maybe they should just hire superheroes next time.