FEBRUARY 7, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Army Adopts Wrinkle-Free Uniforms. Impact: The Army's switch to wrinkle-free uniforms sparked a global fashion trend, leading to the rise of casual military chic, where civilians everywhere began wearing 'combat-chic' attire to brunch.. Fact: The real reason for the wrinkle-free fabric? Because nobody wants to be caught ironing when there are 'serious' missions to plan, like making it to happy hour on time..
• Headline: Astronaut's Shocking Criminal Allegations. Impact: Capt. Nowak's dramatic saga inadvertently inspired a new reality show about astronaut love triangles, which peaked in ratings during the 2030s and led to a surge in space-themed dating apps.. Fact: NASA quickly learned that sending astronauts to space isn't nearly as dangerous as the drama that unfolds when they come back to Earth..
• Headline: Conservatory Tries to Raise Its Profile. Impact: The Manhattan School of Music's struggle to raise its profile led to a bizarre rivalry with a local bakery that began offering music-themed pastries, resulting in a nationwide craze for 'Mozart Muffins' and 'Beethoven Bagels'.. Fact: Apparently, the only thing more difficult than getting into a prestigious music conservatory is trying to get a decent bagel in Manhattan..
• Headline: In Court, as on Gambling Floor, Casinos Have the Better Odds. Impact: Casinos mastering the odds in court led to a series of legal reforms that made gambling contracts more confusing than ever, ultimately resulting in an entire generation of lawyers who specialize only in casino-related litigation.. Fact: In the end, everyone learned that the house always wins, especially when it comes to legal fees..