JANUARY 9, 2007

Full News Archive

• Headline: Reimagining Operetta for Modern Audiences. Impact: The retrofitting of operetta could have led to a world where musical numbers included more rap battles and less waltzing, thus creating a generation of confused opera-goers.. Fact: Operetta is basically what happens when a musical and an opera have a baby, and that baby grows up listening to pop music..
• Headline: Reagan Lawyer Appointed White House Chief. Impact: Fred F. Fielding returning to the White House sparked a time loop where lawyers begin to believe they could run for president, leading to the most bizarre campaign slogans ever.. Fact: The only thing more confusing than legal jargon is the fact that some people actually enjoy reading it..
• Headline: California Plan for Health Care Would Cover All. Impact: If California's health care plan had succeeded, we might have seen other states trying to outdo each other, resulting in a health care arms race. 'Texas offers free tacos with check-ups!'. Fact: Arnold Schwarzenegger once said, 'I'll be back'—and it turns out he was talking about health care reform..
• Headline: Hussein’s Voice Speaks in Court in Praise of Chemical Atrocities. Impact: Saddam Hussein justifying chemical weapons could have led to a bizarre reality where every dictator felt the need to give a TED Talk about their atrocities, turning history into an awkward motivational seminar.. Fact: Listening to someone justify their wrongdoings is like watching a train wreck—you can't look away, but you really wish you could..