DECEMBER 8, 2006

Full News Archive

• Headline: Final Pearl Harbor Survivors Reunion. Impact: As survivors gathered for what would be one of their final reunions, their stories inspired a new generation of historians, leading to a wildly popular series of YouTube documentaries. One particularly enthusiastic vlogger mispronounced 'Pearl Harbor' as 'Pearl Harbinger,' leading to a sudden spike in interest in maritime fortune tellers.. Fact: Did you know that Pearl Harbor survivors have been honored in numerous ways, including a dedicated day of remembrance? Yet, somehow, no one thought to throw a themed luau..
• Headline: Boston's Efforts to Attract Black Tourists. Impact: Boston's attempt to woo Black tourists set off a chain reaction where other cities followed suit, leading to a bizarre race to create the most extravagant 'diversity festival.' The result? A hipster parade where everyone wears ironic 'Save the Whales' shirts but no one actually saves whales.. Fact: Bill Russell once described Boston as a 'flea market of racism,' which is funny because flea markets are actually quite inclusive—unless you count the prices..
• Headline: Lost at the Record Store Event. Impact: The resurgence of interest in 'High Fidelity' sparked a revival of vinyl records, leading to a global shortage of turntables. This ultimately resulted in a new trend where hipsters would buy vinyl records to use as wall art instead of listening to them.. Fact: Did you know that 'High Fidelity' was originally a book? Because nothing screams 'high culture' like a movie about a record store owner with commitment issues!.
• Headline: Changes Are Expected in Voting by 2008 Election. Impact: The decision to phase out electronic voting machines without a paper trail led to an unexpected increase in voters bringing their own pens to polling places. This eventually resulted in a black market for fancy pens that promised to make your vote 'extra special.'. Fact: Fun fact: The phrase 'paper trail' has nothing to do with voting; it's actually a reference to the mysterious trail of toilet paper left by raccoons in urban areas..
• Headline: Off to College Alone, Shadowed by Mental Illness. Impact: The struggles of college students with mental illness prompted universities to invest heavily in mental health services. However, this led to a rise in 'emotional support' pets, including a controversial wave of emotional support iguanas that caused quite the stir on campuses.. Fact: Did you know that college can be tough for anyone, but throw in mental illness and it's like trying to play chess while someone is constantly rearranging the pieces? Talk about a strategic nightmare..