NOVEMBER 15, 2006

Full News Archive

• Headline: Giuliani's Strategic 2008 Presidential Bid. Impact: Giuliani's indecision led to a butterfly effect where every time he hesitated, a pigeon somewhere in the world cooed in disappointment. His eventual decision to enter the race, however, resulted in countless misguided campaign slogans that haunt us to this day.. Fact: Did you know that Giuliani's hair dye famously dripped during a press conference? It was the first time America collectively held its breath over hair products..
• Headline: Exploring the Pigeon Phenomenon. Impact: The rise of pigeons as a cultural icon can be traced back to this review. Had Grimes not written it, we might have been living in a world where pigeons were just boring old rats with wings—thankfully, we dodged that bullet.. Fact: Did you know that pigeons can actually find their way home from over 1,000 miles away? They're basically the original GPS, but with more cooing..
• Headline: Carrie Fisher's One-Woman Show Debuts. Impact: Fisher's decision to perform led to a resurgence in one-woman shows, inspiring countless others to share their tales of questionable life choices, thus ensuring that the world remained entertained (or at least confused) for generations.. Fact: Did you know Carrie Fisher was a script doctor for many iconic films? It’s almost like she was the fairy godmother of Hollywood, but instead of turning pumpkins into carriages, she turned mediocre scripts into gold..
• Headline: Enter, Pariah: Now It's Hugs For Lieberman. Impact: Lieberman's transformation into a 'huggable' figure may have inadvertently sparked a trend in political hugging, leading to a series of awkward embraces between politicians that would later confuse constituents and historians alike.. Fact: Did you know that Lieberman was the first Jewish person to be nominated for Vice President of the United States? Not that it mattered when he was hugging it out; it was all about the love... or was it the votes?.
• Headline: Bending the Rules to Tempt Beckham. Impact: The bending of rules to attract Beckham not only changed the landscape of MLS but also set a precedent for future athletes to become walking endorsements rather than just players, leading to the rise of athlete influencers, which is basically the plague of modern sports.. Fact: Did you know David Beckham's fashion sense has been credited for single-handedly improving men's fashion in the 2000s? He made wearing a sarong a thing, and for better or worse, we're still recovering..