OCTOBER 8, 2006

Full News Archive

• Headline: Baseball's Strategy Showdown in October. Impact: If only Omar Minaya and Billy Beane had known that their rivalry would inspire countless memes about nerds versus jocks in baseball, they could have saved themselves the headache of actually winning.. Fact: Did you know that if you line up all the baseball players who have attempted to become prom kings, they actually form a pretty impressive baseball team? It’s called the 'Rejection All-Stars'..
• Headline: The College Hunt Farewell Tour. Impact: The 'Farewell Tour' sparked a generation of overly sentimental college tours where parents weep uncontrollably, leading to a nationwide shortage of tissues in college towns.. Fact: In the future, college tours are replaced by virtual reality experiences where students can dodge campus squirrels while sitting in their living rooms. Because who needs actual human interaction?.
• Headline: Religious Exemptions on the Rise. Impact: As religious organizations continue to grow their exemptions, they inadvertently create a powerful lobby that leads to the establishment of 'Tax-Free Tuesdays', where everyone gets a pass on taxes, but only if they wear a funny hat.. Fact: Fun fact: The original tax code was just a piece of paper that said 'Don't be a jerk'—too bad nobody listened..
• Headline: 2007 Volvo C70: Even in Fun, Volvo Plays It Safe. Impact: The 2007 Volvo C70's safe reputation led to a bizarre trend where people began wearing helmets while driving non-Volvo cars, creating a subculture known as 'Cautious Cruisers'.. Fact: Did you know that Volvos are the official car of people who think 'living on the edge' means taking a slightly different route to work?.