OCTOBER 7, 2006

Full News Archive

• Headline: Yankees Face Tough Playoff Challenge. Impact: Kenny Rogers' stellar performance not only knocked the Yankees out of the playoffs but also led to an unforeseen increase in karaoke nights across the country. Who knew that one man's ability to sing 'The Gambler' would inspire countless hours of off-key renditions in bars everywhere?. Fact: Did you know that Kenny Rogers had a brief career as a photographer? Which is ironic, considering he certainly knows how to capture a moment on the field!.
• Headline: G.O.P. Seats in Jeopardy Amid Scandal. Impact: The Congressional page scandal brought a wave of disillusionment, causing conservative voters to rethink their loyalty. In 10 years, this led to a new political party that only ran candidates who could correctly spell 'honesty'!. Fact: Did you know that the phrase 'politics is downstream from culture' was coined long before this scandal? It’s funny how that culture seems to keep flowing straight into a sewer sometimes..
• Headline: Recruitment Challenges for Arabic Speakers. Impact: Sgt. Cameron Murad's challenge to recruit Arabic speakers resulted in a massive surge of interest in Arabic language courses in American high schools. By 2030, everyone will be saying 'Go Army' in Arabic while eating falafel!. Fact: Did you know that the U.S. military has been trying to recruit bilingual speakers since the Revolutionary War? Turns out 'Go Army' translates poorly into 'We need you!' when you don’t speak the language..
• Headline: From High Stakes to the Low Road. Impact: The negative ads from the Connecticut Senate race inspired a new genre of reality TV, where candidates compete to create the most outrageous attack ad. Spoiler alert: it involves a lot of yelling and pointing!. Fact: Did you know that negative campaigning goes back to ancient Rome? Which probably explains why a lot of political debates sound like gladiatorial combat—just with more suits and less blood..